ANDY MYERS
ASTROPHYSICISTS' JOKE

they tell me that astrophysicists a breed of men with pale telescopic fingers and black hole social lives light years older than they think they are a breed of moon faced women with horny horn-rimmed horn beam glasses and nebulous fantasies who name their only children Stella for a giggle are ensconced in some abandoned mine (where abandoned miners once delved for something similar) sheltered from cosmic rays and human company searching for the lost property of the Universe in the cold coal black blackness Heavens Above! apparently 99% of human beings are wholly invisible from prying alien eyes (although I may have heard that wrong) yet wouldn’t you think there was enough stuff around causing trouble not to worry about what’s missing what with reindeer & dog shit & guns & balloons and all which brings us to that renowned astrophysicists’ joke why does dark matter anyway?


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